I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
