i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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