we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
