Just mADE A PArabola og urine
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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