Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
