A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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