Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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