Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
