You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
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