ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
