I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
