the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize