before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
