If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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