I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
