I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
