i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize