and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
