when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
