DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
We had sex on a dog bed..
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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