In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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