wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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