??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
