I'm so fucking centered right now
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
