Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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