do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
