Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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