Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
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