thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
