we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
