Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
