YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
