I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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