I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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