Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
