i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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