Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
