so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
