well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
