it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
