I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
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