he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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