Rock
Scissors
Fuck
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
