FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
