I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
