So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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