it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
this is an emotional support booty call
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
