"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
