Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
