Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize