doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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