I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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