duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
