fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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