My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Do you still have your period?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.