It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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