New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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