worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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