he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We don't watch enough power rangers
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
