Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
