Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm both gender and math confused
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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